All My Delight Is In You Lord

I can't keep my thoughts straight....

This isn't going to flow that well.....

but I have to write it down.......





One night, I was home alone in my basement. I'm not one hundred percent sure what I was doing exactly, but that doesn't really have anything to do with what I'm going to say..... Anyway, like I said, I was in my basement doing something, and while I was doing whatever that was I began to sing spontaneously one of my favorite praise and worship songs by Hillsong United. I'm sure many of you know it, it's called None But Jesus.



For those of you who don't know it...here are two of the most pivotal the lyrics



"There is no one else for me....None But Jesus" and "All my delight is in you Lord, all of my hope, all of my strength"





As I reached the bridge where it says "All my delight is in you Lord," I suddenly froze mid sentence. I was both shocked and confused. It hit me that I was singing a song such as that, but not really realizing or meaning what I was proclaiming. Though I loved the melody of the song, and loved to praise God through it, I had never actually picked apart the phrases, or really analyzed what I was saying. I began to cry.....



"All my delight is in you Lord"........LIE.



There are so many things that are between me and God. These things are what I have come to know as IDOLS. This includes, but is not limited to, the following (In no particular order): A certain person, food, self image, coveting, money, selfishness, jealousy, laziness.....and the list could keep going on and on and on and on.



These idols that I have in my possession are things which I put my hope. If something is wrong with one of these things, it determines my mood. If one of these things is removed, I can't go on until it is replaced. My whole focus and sole devotion is on these things. It is only at the bottom of this list that I find God.



Sure I read my Bible everyday. I pray and journal. I go to church, and am involved with multiple Bible studies. I disciple, and am discipled.... I share the gospel..... I sing Christian songs......I have a relationship with the Lord. I do Christian things, I hang out with other Christians.....I BELIEVE, I HAVE FAITH..........





But my actions mean NOTHING. NOTHING....THEY MEAN NOTHING!!!!!!!!!



Everyday I live a lie. Sure I love God, but I love other things more. I love a person, or thing, more than I love my Savior. I love them more, because I think about them more. I worry about them more. I am concerned with them more.



My heart is in those things because they are my treasure. The Bible says where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.....SO TRUE.





So how do I solve my problem? HOW can I stop bowing down face first to these IDOLS????



In Psalm 37:4 it says to delight yourself in the Lord and he will grant you the desires of your heart.....simple huh?



During the Sermon on the Mount In Matthew, Jesus said that we should Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness....and all these things will be given to you.......



again simple





DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD.....SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD





wow





Why can't I get it???????????????????????????



Why do I daily surrender to material things....

Why do I daily worship myself instead of truly worshiping God

Why do I allow myself to be a slave to my sin

Why can't I have true and ultimate DELIGHT IN THE LORD????



WHY CAN'T MY HOPE BE IN MY SAVIOR?????



WHY CAN'T I JUST LOVE HIM?!?!?!?!?!?!?

REALLY REALLY LOVE HIM....not just the junky love that I leave on the surface





When will I stop being selfish and surrender my devotion

When will I stop needing all of these stupid worldly things to make me happy

When will I realize just who God is

When will a sunset reveal what I've been missing in him?





When will I realize that I should love, because he FIRST loved me





Why does the Lord still love me when I can't stop loving myself.......

Why can't I remove my Idols.....

Why won't the Lord remove temptation......

LORD, I LOVE YOU. I'm sorry that I am a stupid selfish human being. I'm sorry that I love myself. I'm sorry that I HATE myself. I'm sorry that I long for someone Else's love more than yours. I'm sorry that I over eat and waste the money that you have allowed me to earn. I'm sorry that I have placed these Idols in my life......I'm sorry that I am a sinner. I'm sorry that I can't love you like you love me. I'm sorry for not realizing your Glory. I'm sorry for not worshiping your name like I should. PLEASE FORGIVE ME.....DADDY......................................................PLEASE.....................................PLEASE FORGIVE ME.........................................teach me o Lord to love you above all else. Show me how to find my only and true delight in you. Grant me the strength to seek you first. "Holy Fire, BURN AWAY my desire for ANYTHING, that is not of YOU and is of ME, I want more of YOU and way way way way way less of me!"..........................Like the song says, EMPTY ME. BREAK ME. BEAT ME if you need to. ALLOW ME TO FULLY LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!! Lord, I'm so frustrated. I just want to love you. Please, help me love you.

AMEN.

Because you have to start somewhere...

Once upon a time, I created a blog. I thought it was a wonderful little idea. Why wouldn't I want to write down thoughts, and then share them with the world?? Who cares if no one ever bothers to read it? At least I had the chance to free up my mind. Therefore, this page was born.

About five minutes after I had created the blog, I decided that I would place my first post. I started to type and continued to compose for an entire hour. When I was finally ready to publish, I hit the button on the screen and everything froze. An error had occurred with my silly PC and I was forced to lose all that I had begun.

By this point, I was exhausted. I was determined to become a blogger, but I had no energy. I decided to put it off one more day. However, in my world at least, one day can sometimes cause memory failure. That being said, after my vacation from blogging, I was lost in forgetfulness, and it completely slipped my mind that I had created a blog in the first place....months later, I realize that this page is still sitting here....WAITING.......

And so here I am, at the beginning...because everyone has to start somewhere.....
though I had strayed, its still here, staring me down, waiting for me to answer it....waiting for me to need it....It doesn't need me....but it longs for me to place posts on it........

I know this may sound absurd, but I compare this blog to God. Sometimes in my "daily walk" I find myself straying from the Lord. I place myself before him. I forget him. I don't live ONLY for him. I don't realize that he is constantly with me.

When I finally notice that this is happening....I return to find him WAITING, wanting me even in that failure. Just like my blog, HE doesn't need me.....but he longs for me to call on his name....he longs for me to desire him and call him Daddy.

How blessed we are to have a God who loves us even when we don't love him! How wonderful is he who would give us grace everyday of our lives, though we certainly do not even begin to deserve it.

Praise the Lord!

And so here I am, at the beginning...because everyone has to start somewhere...though I had strayed, He welcomes me with open arms....his mercies are new every morning.

Thanks Daddy.